The music legends battle for the crown.

When Elvis Presley left the building (and the planet) in 1977, and Michael Jackson moonwalked into the afterlife this year, we are now minus two genuine icons of 20th century music.

“If there’s a Mount Rushmore of Rock N Roll,” my editor said, “Elvis and Jacko would be up there, along with the Beatles, Sinatra, and Dean Martin.”

“Dean Martin?” I said with surprise, “why not Bob Dylan, or Jim Morrison?”

“You nuts? That’s Dino!,” he exclaimed, “the guy’s the smoothest drinker in the world!”

This is the toughest Rival Riffs yet, I told him. You have the King of Rock ‘n Roll on one side and the King of Pop on another. Had Michael made his comeback and had it been successful, he would’ve established himself as the artist of the century. Meanwhile, most of the true-blooded Elvis fans are either dead or in retirement homes. Yet, why is it that thirty-two years after his death, most artists today still say that without Elvis, there wouldn’t be rock and roll? 

My editor looked over my shoulders and said, “Looks to me you’re the Jackson fan, having matured in the 80s…”

“Actually, I was more into The Cure and Duran Duran,” I replied.

In 1954, a 19-year old kid from Tupelo, Mississippi, walked into a Memphis studio to record some songs. During a recording break, he fooled around with an already-forgotten song, astonishing the studio owner. It was fast, offbeat, unusual, and it was rock ‘n roll for years to come. The song was ‘That’s Alright, Mama,’ and the kid was Elvis.

“It’s probably the single most important moment in modern music,” my editor said, sipping his coffee. I had started a cigarette. “Nobody had ever heard of such wild singing, that every songwriter at the time wanted their songs done by Elvis. While Elvis obviously had talent, the success came overnight, so he never did come around to writing his own material.”

“But it’s something we only could suppose, I answered. “Michael Jackson wrote his songs. He was born a human beatbox who could pull melodies outta thin air. He replaced ‘The King’ on the throne, armed with infectious pop songs that rocketed up the charts. His appearance on MTV was short of messianic. Elvis was dead, and Michael was music itself.”

Then my editor looked up the sky and bemused, “I could imagine them up there right now shaking hands and saying ‘job well done’ for music history.”

Quite the contrary.

Elvis was having a bad day in Rock N Roll heaven the day Michael Jackson was set to arrive. The overhead speakers were playing Jackson’s No.1 hits incessantly and to make matters worse for the King, they had erected a throne as a welcome present.

“What the fuss is goin’ on here? I’m about to puke on too much “Billie Jean,” Elvis accosted Frank Sinatra, head of the Michael Jackson Fans Club. “I thought you were on my side?”

“Look, pal,” Frank explained, “you’re still king, but we gotta give the gloved one the honor, after all, he was the King of Pop!”

“King Kong monkey my ass! I’m the King!” Elvis yelled.

Chuck Berry who was selling balloons with Michael’s image on them heard him and said, “Yo, we got a bo-na-fide brother coming who sings and dance black music. He’s the real deal not some punk ass from Tupelo!”

“Up yours, Chuck!,” Elvis snapped back, “and that stupid duck walk of yours, too!”

“Settle down, King,” Frank said, “I understand how hard this must be, but you and me, when it comes to color, we’re both color blind, remember? Repeat after me, “I love black people, I love black people.”

“I love black people, I love---oh, to hell with it!,” Elvis walked away.

Back on Earth, my editor was pondering those last details. He said that Sinatra along with other crooner guys like Bing Crosby, didn’t like Presley initially because he made them looked older for the audiences. But Elvis was a nice guy they said, and that music apparently had to progress. And it did with Elvis. He invented Rock n Roll. If that’s not talent we don’t know what. However, that progression was taken to the limit by Michael Jackson. And when it comes to pure musical talent, Michael is one talented sonufabitch. Aside from the singing, Michael was also a lyricist, choreographer and a better dancer.

When Michael Jackson arrived in Rock ’n Roll heaven, Elvis was up front to welcome him. Michael was a little nervous meeting ‘Dad.’ He was, after all, married once to Lisa Marie.

“Mr. Presley, sir,” said Michael in a low, almost (I said almost) feminine voice.

“Call me Elvis,” the King beamed.

Sinatra and the people around were a bit surprised at such geniality.

“This is where we see who the better performer is,” Elvis said. “As I see it, I’m no match for that moonwalk of yours and how you seem to defy gravity, and you’re no match for my hip shake… and well, how I seem to make girls wet their pants. So how ‘bout standup comedy?”

“Standup comedy? Are you kidding?” Michael raised a well-made eyebrow.

“C’mon, I mean… cha’mone!,” Elvis chuckled. “You hit me with the fat jokes and I’ll probably open up some skeletons in your closet. Like say, child molestation, your skin bleaching, and oh yes, those nose jobs of yours…”

Michael cupped his hands over his ears and sped past the crowd screaming. Apart from his reign as a bestselling recording artist, he was also the king of controversy.

Back in the coffee shop, a plate of glazed donuts arrived. “How about something for your sweet tooth,” I asked my editor.

“Hell, no,” he squirmed, “…those things will kill me! The last thing I want is to be murdered by overpriced munchies! Now, where were we?”

We are about to measure performance I told him. “Michael Jackson’s concerts were like movie sets,” I said. “Lightshows, pyrotechnics, and nobody had a more dramatic entrance than Michael. You couldn’t upstage the guy even if you go naked up the stage on a horse like Lady Godiva. It’s not just dancing…it’s art. And when Michael sings his soulful ballads, you feel as if you’re floating. After the show’s over, it’s as though you just experienced the greatest performance in your life.”

“That’s exactly the point, you wuss,” my editor blurted. “Elvis didn’t have the benefit of smoke and mirrors - no technology whatsoever. But he brought the house down everytime! He had the most wonderful singing voice, mind you. Three-octave tenor, they say. But it’s not only the singing, it’s everything he does. He sings, he shakes, he oscillates, he explodes, and he changes from beautiful to naughty with a jerk of the head or the blubbery lips. He himself, that’s all Elvis ever needed!”

ROUND 3: THE MUSIC

Elvis’ tastes in music ranged from Country, Western, Gospel, R&B and Rock ‘n Roll and he combined ‘black’ and ‘white’ music into one overall package. Then he added rebelliousness and sexiness, and it was a whole new revolution. John Lennon even said that before Elvis there was nothing. Even the Fab Four, who had met Elvis in ‘65, gave praise to the King as the originator of the genre.

A prodigy with the Jackson 5, Michael Jackson came of age with the help of Quincy Jones and the release of a solo album. From then on, with a combination of catchy pop songs and amazing dance steps, he saved the music business almost single-handedly. MTV helped introduce him worldwide. He was the image of a whole new generation. Towards the latter part of his career, his songs became more socially conscious and relevant.

“I think this is what separates Michael from Elvis,” I told my editor. “His songs are more important because of their messages, touching people all across the globe.”

“What are you talking about? Just because Elvis mostly sang love songs, he didn’t do his part in touching the world? Think of all the people who got married in Vegas,” my editor replied.

Meanwhile back in Rock ‘n Roll heaven, Michael Jackson was furious over Elvis. He kept grabbing his crotch and saying “Aw!” “Nobody does this to the King of Pop,” he thought to himself. Not even a fat has-been like Elvis. He knew that Elvis knew karate, but he summed up all courage to face him. He caught the man having cocktails with Dean Martin.

“Hey, Elvis! Wanna be startin’ something? Cha’mone, old man!”

Elvis excused himself and went to Michael. “Old man?,” Elvis frowned, “I died when I was 47, you weirdo, you’re already 50 years old!”

“Put it up, Elvis!” Michael raised his fists - he was wearing the trademark gloves.

“Say, those are pretty gloves,” Elvis complimented. “I kinda fancy white myself, mind if I take a look at those?”

“Why, sure,” Michael said, “I had them custom-made. Liz planned to have them auctioned.”

“You don’t say,” Elvis remarked while admiring the white gloves, and with that, he suddenly struck Michael across the face with them. Stunned, Michael gasped and then run away tearfully.

“And that’s for marrying Lisa Marie!” Elvis growled.

My editor had lit a cigar and was blowing puffs of smoke. “You had a weak argument back there,” I reminded him, “in terms of body of work, the music per se, I’d have to give the advantage to Michael.”

“Hold it right there,” he yowled, “Michael have made what, a dozen records? Great songs, I give you that. Beat it, Billie Jean, Thriller, Black or White, Man in the Mirror - all classics! Then you have the Elvis songs: Jailhouse Rock, Hound Dog, Heartbreak Hotel, Suspicious Minds, Love Me Tender - vintage!”

He then closed in on me. “Look at it this way… imagine a world without Michael Jackson. It’s unimaginable, yes, but then again, you got your rappers, the hip-hoppers, and the R&B singers to fill in. Now, imagine a world without Elvis. You turn on the radio and all you hear are goody-two-shoes Pat Boone and shrieking Neil Sedaka. No balls! Without the music of Elvis having graced our time it would’ve been a different world.” 

The $17 million, 2,800-acre Jackson ranch named Neverland makes Elvis’ 13.8 acre Graceland (which the King bought for only approximately $100,000) look like a patch of dirt. Neverland is a virtual fantasyland (annual maintenance costs $5 million) with amusement rides and a zoo. Graceland, on another note, is a registered historic landmark by the US Government. The Elvis estate makes around $40 million a year and the Elvis trademark and intellectual property rights are worth even more. 

“But Jackson had more money in his pockets than Elvis ever did,” I pointed to my editor, “platinum records, sold-out concerts, a $15 million endorsement contract from Pepsi, and he was reaping the rewards from 251 Beatles songs! Though he died a million dollars in debt, it’s peanuts!”
 
“You got it all wrong, kid,” my editor said. “The real question you should be asking is: how much is each of them worth? Consider everything the man ever possessed. The whole caboodle! Money’s only a small part of it.”

Then he explained how Elvis and Michael were the wealthiest musicians of their time, reaching the peak of success with no other way but to go back down. To measure them by today’s currency would be unfair. How much are Elvis Presley and Michael Jackson worth? Totally priceless.

Up in Rock ‘n Roll heaven, Michael Jackson’s welcome party didn’t exactly turn out well. Frank Sinatra was asked to play mediator and patch up the differences. He had Elvis meet Michael to apologize.

“Mikey…,” Frank said to Michael, “Elvis here has something to say to you…”

“Well, I guess we kinda started on the wrong foot a while back,” Elvis said sincerely. “I didn’t mean to be cruel and all. Guess you’re all shook up but that’s all right, mama. I mean, dude. I guess we only need a little less conversation, and I’m really a teddy bear, once you get to know me and…”

“Hold it,” Frank yelled at Elvis, “stop plugging, will ya?”

“Apology accepted,” Michael said, “the way you made me feel back there was just… bad. I know its only human nature, ‘cause we don’t want blood on the dance floor now, do we? How’ bout one more chance? All I ever wanted was to rock with you…”

“You too, Jacko,” Frank said firmly. “Listen you two, there’s enough room here in Rock ‘n Roll heaven for two kings… but only one Chairman of the Board! Now, beat it!”

We were near conclusion of Rival Riffs. After I had just gotten out of the men’s room, I noticed that my Editor had left. Under a cup of coffee, half empty, on the table was a note saying: ‘Legacy. It’s what you leave behind for the world to remember you by.’

Michael Jackson’s sudden death came as a shock. His career was almost over and a new batch of artists was already making new, more inventive music. But the enormity of his loss was gigantic. As far as we can tell, there wouldn’t be another king of anything. Michael was the last remaining icon.

There was only one Michael Jackson, as there was only one Elvis.

In a 1971 book, biographer Jerry Hopkins wrote that America has four unique contributions to the world: baseball, Coca-Cola, Mickey Mouse, and Elvis. What are the chances you’d meet some regular fella by the name of Elvis? When Elvis Presley became a household name, the name ‘Elvis’ itself became exclusive to Elvis. No one dared touch it.

But whose legacy would stand the test of time in say, 10, 20, or 30 years? Whose iconic image would still be rife for impersonation? Whose Cinderella story, that tale of poverty to superstardom, would still be worth telling? Whose music would retain its identity and novelty?

And to make it easier: If you’re given a chance to meet one of them to sit, have a chat, maybe have a few drinks, watch a movie, or jam to a couple of songs, who would it be? Easy, right? Elvis Presley.

ADVANTAGE: ELVIS PRESLEY

THE RECAP:

Elvis might’ve borrowed black music but many subsequent black artists borrowed part of their acts from Elvis. If Elvis hadn’t shown the world that it was okay to gyrate and be a sex symbol, the likes of Usher and Kanye West would still probably be singing gospel in church. Michael Jackson too. Elvis paved the way for a lot of black artists to get into the spotlight and perform freely. His footsteps were followed by other artists like Buddy Holly and Richie Valens. Moreover, Elvis was an inspiration to the Beatles. Nothing could be bigger than Elvis.

ROUND 1 (THE TALENT): ADVANTAGE MICHAEL JACKSON
ROUND 2 (THE PERFORMANCE): ADVANTAGE NONE
ROUND 3 (THE MUSIC): ADVANTAGE ELVIS PRESLEY